Turning 43

July 14 - 22 days to go - Today is my birthday and I woke up thinking about my father. He will be 69 in August. Every year since 1981 he has been swimming in the La Jolla rough water mile swim. He plans on competing for 50 years straight which will coincide with the 100th year of the rough water. On his birthday he swims as many minutes as he is old, weighs himself to see how close he is to his "college weight", and every 5 years has me take his portrait. At 65 his was sitting on his rowing shell. He is an inspiration. I did my first triathlon after reading an old diary entry from when I was eleven. He had just finished his first. When I turned 14 I did the rough water swim with him and for his 60th I swam the 60 minutes. It was a pretty spectacular day. I swam a two mile race in Salem Harbor to celebrate turning 40. I hope in 26 years I am able to play basketball with my grandchildren and teach them how to row. I hope my children will still be kayaking, or biking, or have found a love for some other activity. I do not think Patrick and I will be doing mudders in 26 years but I plan on doing something.
To celebrate today I ran for 43 minutes and weighed myself, two pounds lighter them my high school weight...not bad. And am going to build a fire pit with the kids.

Day 26 & 25

Day 26- I start my days by brewing a pot of coffee and reviewing my calendar for the day. 9:30 orthodontist, pay bills, noon, kids to Dad, mow lawn, 5:30 meet with Derek to go over wedding ceremony. Looks good. I need to fit in a work out as well and unpack a few boxes.

Time to wake up the kids, make some eggs and start the day.

It is 12:01 and my kids have been picked up my their fathers girlfriend. I won’t see them for a week because of the summer schedule. We alternate weeks. Every time my kids leave I have to fight a wave of sadness to avoid falling into a depression. For the first year after my divorce the way I handled them leaving was by grabbing two cookies, a diet coke and the TV remote. Six hours later I would peal myself off the couch to get food. At 7pm I would give myself permission to pour myself a glass of wine, promising myself I wouldn’t have more then two. Sometimes I kept my promise, sometimes not. The second year I would wonder into my studio and stare at things, I finally started doing the “Junk Drawer Projects” to get through my children’s absents. Later I filled the first few hours mowing the lawn and cleaning. I would put away the evidence that they had been there just hours before. I realize now that after four years this sadness will never go away. I will be teary when they leave and overjoyed when they return, but now I make a plan. The plan will keep me from derailing myself.  I make a meal that the kids wouldn’t eat, workout, meet a friend, paint in my studio, have a list of errands or embrace that I have a moment alone, make a date with Patrick. First in the list today, run!

Fruit smoothie for breakfast

Blueberries for snacking

Chickpea salad and taboule for lunch

One Sierra Nevada, cold, after mowing the lawn, ½ with new push mower.

Spinach and black bean Enchiladas for dinner, easy on the chips and salsa.

Day 25 – I took a cheap therapy walk with a friend to start the day. We both needed the adult time to sort out our thoughts. Her kids rode their bikes.

It has been a week of daily exercise and I am feeling pretty good. The plan for today is to not just empty boxes but put stuff away. I also realize the house is too white. I like color on the walls and art on display.

Wellness is not a one-dimensional goal. While traveling to and from CA, I got to read a book. The whole thing cover to cover…I am thinking I should travel more often. It was called, “this life is in your hands” by Melissa Coleman. It is about her family. She grew up on the Nering’s homestead in Maine. During the 1970’s they gave up their urban life and set up to live off the land. The author grew up on the homestead and her father was a big part of the organic farming movement. It was inspiring. I am not planning on giving up my way of life but I am planning on making some changes. The first thing is to start composting so next spring I can plant a garden with some well nourished soil. I found a simple composting bin on www.frugalgirl.com, and have set it up outside. I am going to clean up the raspberries patch and pull the weeds away from the wild blueberry bushes.

More confessions

Day 28-

Good Morning. We keep sleeping in till 9am so I am missing the lake when it looks like glass. I think we are still recovering from the changes of the last month. Everyone wakes looking refreshed and ready for another day of activity. Later this afternoon we are heading back to MA so the boys can check on all their pets and play with their Lego’s before going back to Dad’s on Monday.

I need to meet the caterer at the venue to talk food, one of my favorite topics.

I use to think being healthy was about going to the gym. I new it was important to eat healthy but I was not clear on what that meant and how food feeds the body. I am now a firm believer that eating the right foods protects the body. Sorry folks, I will not be serving cheese and crackers at the wedding, but I will be serving freshly made gazpacho.

Summer is a great time to add new fruits and vegetables to ones diet. A pint of cherry tomatoes will keep you feeling full much longer then a serving of Doritos because the vegetables are providing nutrition; the other actually stimulates your appetite. I am also back to starting my days with eggs and I am feeling energized. When I was skipping breakfast or eating cereal I would get twitchy. I don’t know how else to describe it. My body would twitch. So I am back to a protein breakfast.  

Learn more about eggs here,  http://www.livestrong.com/blog/can-eggs-make-you-stronger/

Day 27- Sundays we go to church. In the summers past it is something that we stopped doing in the summer but I miss it. It is too important and helps keep me grounded and on track so this summer we will be going. Wellness is mind, body and soul. Todays sermon was from Revelations and facing judgment. When I came to Christ I came to the understanding that we are all sinners no matter how hard we try not to be, but God loves us anyway. The questions comes when one starts wondering what to do about it. Live in the light. 

Today ended with sadness. I went to a funeral. Someones child died, someones sister, someones friend. I did not know her but I do know those that remain. Roman 12:15 tells us to "mourn with those that mourn." Then I came home and hugged my children and kissed their cheeks. Tomorrow they go to their dads. 

Count down continues

Day 30-

My friends and family put out a great spread last night with quinoa salads, broccoli salad, chickpea and black bean salad, grilled asparagus and BBQ chicken. The colors and flavors were beautiful. After desserts was served the kids jumped into the lake for a swim to cool off.

Last summer I got a rowboat and I love it. So last night I rigged up some lights on the rowboat, filled it with kids and we headed out to the middle of the lake to watch the fireworks. Patrick grabbed a kayak so not to miss out. It was a great way to have some time with the kids and enjoy the fireworks.

Now I am enjoying my Greek yogurt breakfast with the chirping of birds in a sleeping cabin, 7 heads still on pillows.

Wedding prep today is meeting with the florist and trying on my dress so my mom can hem it. My

daughter and my two (soon to be) stepdaughters went dress shopping with me. My mom was not there when I bought the dress so I am looking forward to having her help me. I bought an inexpensive dress, $199 and am embellishing it and I need her help. Moms are good at that stuff.

Lunch was funny because my boys slept until noon and the oldest had gone back to bed. When I got back from town the house smelled like pancakes and I was hoping for Turkey burgers and broccoli slaw.

Kayaking, swimming and a walk with my daughter filled the afternoon. I finally feel like summer has begun and this is the time to get back on track.

And my dress fits! I know I made many poor choices in food over the last month but I did watch my portion sizes. The lack of activity has made me a tiny bit wider in the hips. Think I do some lunges and squats up the driveway.

Day 29 -  After two days at the lake and time with their cousins my children and I have settled in. I love coming to the lake. Patrick and his kids had to leave this morning. I wish they could stay longer and get to know the other kids. We had a mini Olympics and tubing. I took out a windsurfing board with a kayak paddle to work my upper body. It was a great day at the lake. We spotted the baby Loon as well.

   When I tucked my daughter in to bed tonight I told her, “ I am so blessed to haveyou as my daughter” Her response, “What, did God just reach into a hat and say, “this is who you get?”

“No. I think God picked you out just for me. He realized I needed you. And he was right.”

“I love you mom.”

“I love you too.”

Honestly that doesn’t even begin to cover it. My daughter made me a better person. I love my time with her and the way she is growing into a wonderful teenager.

She made dinner tonight; chicken ginger stir-fry and she added bean sprouts in place of rice. Yummy! If I wake up first I can have the leftovers for breakfast.

True confessions of a health coach - falling off the health wagon.

   Over the past 45 days I have done all the things I help my clients to stop doing. I stopped making energy packed shakes and eating a healthy breakfast and started eating a sugary bowl of soggy flakes while standing over the kitchen sink. I have stopped putting on my sports bra and started wearing dirty t-shirts and baggy shorts. Dinner as a family around the table turned into $14.99 lobster rolls from Panera being thrown into the trash.
   How did this all happen? I sold my house, bought a new house, moved my stuff and Patrick's stuff, and we are planning a wedding. The end of the school year brought an end to the regular schedule. I got the shocking news that my fiancés ex-father –in-law’s behavior can effect my relationships…crazy. Did I mention I will soon be the stepmother of three children. Did I mention my ex.? I also squeezed in a five-day trip to San Diego where I relived some of my high school days by eating oversized greasy quesadillas at midnight sitting on sticky plastic chairs in a beach side parking lot. During the day I chose to do a fish taco eating tour. 
   Life is moving in the right direction. I'm in love. I am getting married to an amazing man. We have 6 healthy kids and I let the stress, demands and emotional highs and lows derail me and allowed drive through coffee to become the gateway to french fries and handing off chocolate chip granola bars as health food. I felt like crap and my kids behavior indicated they did too.
In 32 days I am getting married. My face has broken out, i feel like a marshmallow and am afraid to try on my wedding dress. Luckily I am at the lake now, away from home, and it is the perfect time to turn it all around. My stresses are no different then anyone else's, but I know better and I get joy out of teaching others, so today is a new day and I am going to start it with a power walk and some eggs. 
Join me over the next month as I return to wellness. 

Day 31-

My body rebelled slightly two weeks ago when a monster zit appeared on my chin but I knew I was overly stressed out so I dealt with it and moved on. This morning my body put on a full-blown rebellion. I awoke with a sore throat, headache, itchy ears, cough and a stuffy nose. I did not tend to my bodies’ immune system and now it has surrendered.

Coffee, ½ caf.

2 eggs

½ cup of blueberries

One glass of lemon juice, ginger and Echinacea

Then I walked one 3 mile lap around the lake.

I went with my mother so it is also cheap therapy. Walking gets the blood flowing, muscles moving, increases the heart rate and increases serotonin levels in the brain. This helps with depression and the ability to deal with stress. As I said, cheap therapy.

My stress and sadness right now are because I have not seen my children in 12 days. I can’t get into the story, mainly because it makes no sense and is beyond my control, but they are not on some great mission trip or romp across Europe, which would make sense. They are due back at 3 today. I am picking them up in a motel 6 parking lot off route 3.

Bowl of homemade chicken, black bean, summer squash soup

Snap peas

Lemon juice, ginger, Echinacea drink and water

4:35- my kids are in my car and we are heading home. They are in one piece, adorned with a few more freckles and smiling. The last 12 days have quickly faded away and now it is time to go to a party. Happy 4^th of July!

 

Den 16- Photo Hike

We had a great hike, well really it was six boys on a dirt road with sticks in the sunshine, but who's counting? Nelson Island was blocked by water so we headed up the road into the woods.
Each boy was given a turn with the camera and had to take five pictures, a landscape, a portrait, a close up and then two of their choice. Here is what they came up with:
                                                                           Nick

Quinn:

Owen:

Erik:

Andrew:

Kyle:

(The last photo was taken on my phone)

Please ask your boys which is which. They were proud of their photos and I truly enjoyed helping and watching their thought process.

-Wendy

Give trust...it is a gift

Lately, one of my biggest challenges is learning to trust. Without it, how do we find our footing? If we break it, how do we mend it? When do we decide to give it to another?
  I put my trust in a 14 year old girl and the affect has been larger then I ever would have imagined. With trust comes confidence so I would like to encourage everyone to trust another person. Trust your child to succeed or make the right choices. Give others space to explore their passions. She came with her new camera and a big bundle of enthusiasm. All I had to give was trust and a bit of knowledge. I handed over creative control and look what she made happen:

Patrick and I now have some great photos celebrating our love and a new favorite photographer.

This is another photographer that shows how we are only limited by our imagination
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc0vhSseGk4