Breath

If you would ask me to dive to the bottom of a 12 foot pool I could fight my way to the bottom and then resurface, gasping for air. Ask me to sit and hold my breath and I can last a mear 30 seconds. Yet when I loose myself in painting I suddenly have to remind myself to breath. On the lat pull down machine the 5th instruction is to "Keep Breathing." Breath is essential to life, yet we can control it unlike blinking and the beating of our hearts. Did you know the medical term for taking a breath in is "inspire". How contradictory that when I am lost in thought I hold my breath. Maybe I do not want to let the inspiration that has blessed me get away.
Where do you find inspiration? Some wait for it to come. To many it is discipline. So this weekend when I had 2 hours to finish a piece no matter what, when my heart started pounding though my chest, and I was actually nervous, I realized all I could do was breath. A big breath in and then...hold it until I it was ready to reveal itself.

Trees set.

The corner stone of the garden has been planted. I had picked out locations but after hanging out in the space I have abandoned my original plan. The layout was fighting the all ready existing elements. As a family we selected locations for the trees. They are going to set up the far corner and be the back drop for the sculpture currently under construction in my barn. My boys helped me dig the holes, I had forgotten how many rocks there are in New England soil, and safely transfer the worms in order to moved the pine trees. Now it is raining so I do not have to water, perfect. I got some new overalls too. I thought I would try to be a bit incognito, is it working?

Jamie Oliver's TED award speech.

If you are unfamiliar with TED talkes I highly recommend you look them up. Topics cover education, inspiring children, technology, medicine, food, poetry and more. If I need a bit of a boost or inspiration, these talks are guaranteed to provide it.
Jamie Oliver's "Food Revolution" in LA started last night. Loved it. If you are at all interested in what you eat and how we feed are kids it is a must.

Sculpture Garden day 1.

Here is the sight and perhaps overly ambitious plan for the sculpture garden. The snow is gone and the ground is getting softer. Two years ago for Earth Day my Girl Scout troop planted trees. We had a few extras so they where put in the garden. Now they need to be moved to their permanent locations in the planned sculpture garden. I went to an outside sculpture garden with kids and watching them interact with the art was inspiring. They want to climb and touch everything, but so do I, so I need to keep this in mind when construction starts. I hope you will watch my progress and visit me along the way and when it is complete.

Floors done, Wall not.

The quandary of the unfinished project...I would like to claim that I have so many ideas that I have to keep moving forward and start new projects but perhaps I am avoiding completion. When something is "finished" it is ready for criticism. If you see a painting before it is done or eat cookie dough when it is simply eggs and sugar, you are not getting the whole story, it can't be judged.
So this attempt at a blog post is the perfect example of what I am trying to discuss...I started it a week ago and then stopped after the first few sentences. Why? Maybe one of the dogs needed to go outside. Maybe my boys were fighting over who is the rightful owner of a Lego guy. Right now my breakfast is sitting half eaten on the kitchen counter because I remembered that I never put the load of jeans in the dryer...which brought my thoughts back to an unfinished Blob Post. So the cycle continues, my life keeps getting in the way. I am going to go finish my breakfast and coffee and then, as I say to my kids, I will be back in "just a minute".
I am back, it was three minutes, but here is my issue. I have a laundry list of unfinished tasks and projects in my house and in my studio. I continually add to the list at a much faster rate then I cross things off. For year I blame having babies in the house but now my kids are at school from 8-3 and gone every other weekend so now I can only blame myself? Yes, things come up and I have other responsibilities that bump my fun stuff to the side but what is the difficulty in being done?
I have to go walk the dogs...

Red Bull

I have spent most of my day obsessing over Red Bull and honestly I wish I wasn't but for some reason it has wrapped itself around my head and won't let go. The only time I have had a Red Bull was after finishing a Triathlon, this is what they are for, an energy drink...and well I ended up doubled over, taking long slow breaths trying to keep from vomiting. So not a fan to start, so what is the obsession?
I try to eat healthy, and feed my kids well. I am trying to teach them to make good choices about what they put in their bodies. We won't go to the beach without slathering on the sun screen. We strap everyone down with car seats and seat belts. I even wore a helmet skiing this year. All of this is done to protect us and hopefully we get to live a long, healthy life, but then with out much thought we fill our bodies with too much sugar, fat and preservatives. Yes, I have been called a "food nazi", it is one of the things I am passionate about.
 I have a theory, "Junk in, Junk out". Red Bull is chemicals plus water, sugar and caffeine. If you take out the sugar, add aspartame. So is it any different then a diet coke or mountain due? Not really, yet it is advertised as an "energy drink". So maybe that is what is bothering me...the advertising. It is a masterfully marketed item directed at kids. I ask, Who wouldn't want wings? Red Bull sponsors, base jumpers, bmx riders, racecar drivers, freestyle boarders and what is a "wingsuit pilot". This is every boys dream. (Young girls got stuck with Twilight, and yes, I read 3 out of 4). Is there a benefit to drinking Red Bull?  Besides the headaches, increased heart rate and eventual crash. Is it any different then coffee? Coffee is natural, so yes, but even that is consumed for its caffeine. I ordered coffee at a new place yesterday and watched as four scoops of sugar went into the cup. I had to stop her and ask for one scoop only.
So what is my point? I wish I could eat anything I want and not feel guilty. I wish when I drank that Diet Coke today, first one in weeks, it hadn't made me feel ill. I wish I had tried the "reverse boston cream pie" doughnut, but I didn't. Instead I am going to make a flour less chocolate cake from scratch with my daughter. I wish I could block the advertisers on TV...I could go on, but I can smell cake.
Feel free to call me names because I do drink red wine, I do eat chocolate and I do drink coffee for the caffeine all of which have been known to have ill effects.

maybe tonight?

So I did not get to watch my movie. I did reach out to someone, gave some forgiveness and received some in return. Makes for a better day then a movie.