Happy Holiday 2014

 The year covered 40,000 miles and every one was worth while....

We played outdoors...

Cookie, Zeta and Wendy taking a break from paddle boarding

Skylar, 15, dancing on the beach while on break from Walnuthill School.

Quinn fishing for large mouth bass with mom.

Tim celebrating the start of summer.

Mary Clare, coached by dad, on the field.

Blueberries for Skylar

We played indoors...

Basketball

Basketball

Pinewood Derby. Quinn, 10.

More Basketball. And now a driver.

We had some firsts...

Mary Clare enjoys her first Red Socks game with Bryn and dad.

Tim grows taller then Patrick just in time for his Confirmation.

Bryn, our resident photo bomber, is elected class Treasurer

Ellis takes up Lacrosse 

We laughed together...

 Ellis, 13.

Tim, 16. Mary Clare, 8.

Down time on the dock.

Bryn, 14.

Dancing.

Hanging in the hammock.

Family mud run.

Costa Rica.

Patrick and Wendy sneak away to Vermont.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from our Family to yours.

Be Prepared and do your best

  One of the things I hear most is that eating healthy cost too much and cooking takes too much time. I don't feel this way but I realize this is about perspective. I grew up in a home where my mom cooked dinner almost every night. I now have a family that is sometimes 8 and sometimes 2, but we tend to average 5, so sitting down to dinner has became a challenge with all the different schedules but is more important then ever. Watching my mother and working in the kitchen with her I learned how to throw together a meal. I can wing it. We didn't struggle financially, but my parents are frugal people, so I understand the value of a dollar. This being said, I have a general understanding of what I spend at the grocery store every week and how much time I spend in the kitchen but I do not know what everyone else does. This week I am going to challenge myself to see how fast I can get healthy, complete meals on the table and what it costs.
   With my Weight Watchers "15 minute meals" magazine in hand, I picked out a few new dinners for the week and made my list. I am picking new ideas for this challenge and also modifying the recipes. They use frozen foods and some processed things I don't recommend but it is a good starting point. I also don't have a microwave. I spent $67.34 at the store, got a few veggies from the farmers market ($20), and I am supplied for this weeks dinners. Dance also starts for my daughter this week, every night, so there will be a time crunch to get food on the table. I am opting to use fresh instead of frozen in the recipes but I don't think it should change the prep time much. I have to do the "naked burritos" on Thursday because I am using brown rice instead of minute rice. Tonight is Asian pork wraps, estimated prep time 15 minutes, feeding 5.
   Tuesday- For the last twelve years dinner has hit the table at 6pm, 95% of the time. Tonight it won't be until 7:30. The other option is 5 o'clock, if we want to sit as a family. Tonight I will be serving zucchini ribbons, turkey sausages and garlic bread from the farmers market for 4. Prep was 15 minutes but,  everyone was over hungry and over tired by 7:30pm. Next week I will try 5 o'clock dinner with a bed time snack.
  Wednesday- my busiest time of day during the week is from 2pm to 8pm. Tonights dinner is chicken chili. I made it while cleaning up the breakfast dished. I sliced up celery, cucumber and a pepper for the veggie portion. Reheat and ready to serve 5.
   During Dance class I had to run to the grocery store to replenish a few items for lunches. Also forgot Thursday is going to be 8 for dinner and we are adding a birthday cake. Also Friday I was hoping to go out, only 2 for dinner, but we will be eating in so we can attend the basketball game. $52.68 spent.
   Thursday- I admit, I over cooked the rice. I am not use to cooking ahead of time and then reheating without a microwave. Everything else was good for our "naked burritos" with a 7 out of 8 satisfaction rate. The birthday cake was 100% satisfied. The best part of the meal though was having everyone home. It was fun to listen to the kids speaking spanish, "como se llama?" and "mi cumpleanos es en April", then running off together to play upstairs. Is it possible that having 6 kids at home is easier then having 2,3 or 4?
  Friday- Dinner for two is being stretched to dinner for three. I forgot to serve the edamame salad earlier in the week so I can serve that. There is still some veggies from the farmers market to serve with hummus, some leftover birthday cake, sweet potatoes and some nice steak tips make dinner. I got a sudden craving for tomatoes, which is super weird since I spent most of my last 40 years avoiding them at all cost, so I am serving a caprese salad as well, $13.
 What I reinforced in myself this week are that the key components to getting dinner on the table in a healthy and timely manner are the same things I learned in Scouts, "Be prepared" and "Do your best." The unexpected and rushed trips to the store was when unnecessary purchases were made or a planned dinner was skipped and substituted with a quick and not so cheap stop at a restaurant.  Pick a time, for me it is Sunday after church, and make a list for the week. The more consistanly this is done, the easier it will become. I even wrote the meals on the calendar so my kids can see what we are going to be eating and I can enlist their help. They are looking forward to 5 can casserole on Thursday and I am looking forward to a smooth week ahead.

Fight inappropriate.

   Recess in 6th grade was spent sitting on the monkey bars. The girls would watch the boys from a safe distance. The boys occasionally approached to make a rude comment, trying to be funny. Lame!
But one Thursday in spring, word quickly spread across the playground that Chris and Stacey were going to fight. After school everyone was going to meet at the bike racks by the back alley to watch Chris fight Stacey. All bets were on Chris. She was that girl that looked 14, while the rest of us still looked 11. She told stories about her dad being in prison and her mom being crazy. I had been to her house once and it was dark and they had weird, unidentifiable things frozen in their freezer and half dead plants on the kitchen window sill.  She stole cigaretts from her parents and taught me how to sneak candy into my back pockets while at the 7-11. Stacey was tall and awkward. Being quiet, smart, and friends with the teachers made her an easy target.
  After the bell everyone ran to the bike racks, I rode my bike to school so I would like to say I had no choice, but I did. I could have headed home but I waited. I don't even know why there was going to be a fight but I had never seen a fight before. I had been a target of bullying at my previous school, knocked down in the hallways, given bloody noses on the bus, called "gordo," but never fought back. Never told a teacher or my parents. I was friends with Chris, perhaps out of fear, but I was rooting for Stacey. Would she show up?
   Stacey showed up. A circle formed around the two girls. It was silent. With clenched lips, fingers rolled into fists and tears in her eyes Stacey came out swinging. Her arms moving like airplane propellers just hoping. Chris managed to grab her wrists, twist her arms and push her to the ground. With a taunting chuckle it was over. That was it. I hopped on my bike and rode home realizing it was the weirdest, most confusing thing I had witnessed. What was the point?
   Looking back now I realize the point was Stacey showed up. She said she would be there and she was. Stacey faced her bully and fought. Nobody was going to do it for her. After that, both girls were treated differently. Chris had lost her power.
   Why am I bringing this up now? Word is out that somebody wants to "kick my ass" and they have let others know. The sight is not the playground but a Spartan Race. My instant response was "game on!"
Now I am sick about it. This is not seventh grade when I slammed "Luis" into the lockers after dumping my backpack out in the hallway between classes. This is not tenth grade when I got thrown out of a soccer game after lifting a girl off the ground by the neck of her jersey after she did a slide tackle into my goalie. This is not freshmen year when I refrained from picking up my lacrosse stick with revenge in mind but instead picked up my paintbrush. This is 2012, I am a 43 year old women, mother, and wife. Somehow though I am feeling threatened, and the need to defend myself.
    There is no way this person can beat me in a mud race and no way I would let it happen. As my children said, "they have no idea what they are getting into." (One ego check please and it was juvenile of me to tell my kids any of this, my mistake.)
Second, if I win I will feel good for a fleeting moment, then awful. Should I drop out now, letting something I love doing be tarnished? Let the bully win? I could throw the race, no one would know but me and God.
   Third, the point of the mud races is that they are team challenges, not races. When I started doing triathlons and the mud races the only one I was out to beat was me. I have nothing to prove to anyone else. I got word that the challenger is now hesitating, while others are excited by the idea of me getting my "ass kicked." I could encourage them to join me and we can do it together. It could be monumental but it will take more trust them either of us have for the other. I am willing to risk it. But will they join me or stab me in the back? Yet again I realize all I can control is myself and ask God for guidance.
   Psalm 55:21-22.  His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken

All for love

In a week Patrick and I will wake up married. Today we woke up with paint in our hair. There is construction going on on the third floor. My boys needed a bedroom, so yesterday we painted. The contractor suggested we do it before the floors and trim go in. It does make it easier and drips on the sub flooring don't matter, but I got things to do. I am a doer, but this I did not want to do. Patrick to the rescue, after a 2 hour crash course dance lesson Friday night, we hit JCPenny for shoes, Target for a belt, Marshalls for shoes, 3 TJmax's for Mojito mix, Men's Warehouse for a white shirt, then Home Depot for paint. A few text back and forth with my boys and we selected Madras Blue as the base color for their dream Camo room. All for love. It feels good. Saturday we managed to squeeze in a power walk around the neighborhood before painting, got to Patrick's daughters basketball game, then ate all the veggies in the house for dinner. There can't possible be more things to do. Did I mention the unplanned trip to the Salem court house to get proof I am divorced so I can get married again? At least no one asked me if I was crazy.

8 days a week

It is 6:30 am. The house is still asleep, I am back from my run-walk and the coffee is brewing. I feel alive today. I forgot to go outside yesterday, trapped behind my laptop and cell phone trying to arrange the every details and finalize the seating chart. This morning I could not sleep, the breaking dawn beckoned, so I hit the trail through the woods. This is out of character for me, and it felt exhilarating.
  In eight days I am getting married to a kind, gentle, patient, happy man. Last night, after trying on his wedding clothes, Tim hugged his dad. It was not the court side hug, how you been, kind of hug. Not even the, i'm proud of you hug. It was love, unconditional, it's all good, your becoming a man, kind of hug. The subtle moments can get lost in the chaos of insignificant details. Hold on to calm and remember to breath.
   My BFF supplied the Costco card and I supplied the debit card as we headed out for our last adventure before I become Mrs. Larkin. (actually keeping my name) We laughed, giggled and chatted our way through five hours selecting wines and beer, having dinner in Newburyport at Loretta's, yummy swordfish, and whispered about a few girl topics, before she safely dropped me home. I want to thank the BFF's in my life. Where would I be without you? LOST! Thank you for supporting me when I am needy, over dramatizing and opinionated. Some have accused me of being a control freak. I call it conviction. Thank you for letting me cry at your kitchen tables, sleep on your couches, feed you cookies and wear camo pants in public. Finding a passion in life is a challenge, having friend that push you toward it, ( i can't resist) Priceless.

Skip 11 and go straight to ten.

We had eleven days till the wedding and I went to the beach. Born to Run and a beach chair were calling my name. The seating chart, caterer and making the mens ties were also calling my name but they were being drowned out by the sound of the crashing waves and gusting wind. I filled my belly with fruit salad and greens, learned about individuals that love running 100's of miles for fun and feel revived. Now it is time for the final sprint to the finish line...

Ten days to go. Make a list, and another and another...crossed off wine, beer, checks in the mail, food for pets, double check with the photographer, florist, feed the kids and self, and there is something we are forgetting??? The marriage licence!

Family Meeting with 13 day to go

Trying to find wellness and balance in life for me boils down to one question, What can I control? The truth is we don't have control over much, but we do have control over how we respond to the events occurring around us and how we let them impact the next event. As the wedding draws closer the excitement is building and at the same rate as the anxiety. When I was toward the end of my first pregnancy I remember being at the grocery store and buying milk. I had done this hundreds of times but this time I noticed the expiration date, December 1. That was after my due date. God willing, I would be a mother by then with a healthy baby at home. Everything would be different. The milk expired before my daughters arrival, I had to wait until the 5th, but everything was different and my daughters arrival was nothing like I had anticipated, but it all turned out alright in the end.
   Maybe a wedding should be the same, get the dress and the tux and wait and one day the pastor calls and says "meet me at the church." Would the shock of the surprise be better then the anxiety of anticipation? The details can be overwhelming. Does it really matter who makes a toast and in which order? Not to me but maybe to someone else. It is one day, but a really BIG day. An important day that represents the beginning of a new life, a new family is being born.
What if not everyone is happy about it? The family meeting was to lay out the events of the weekend, dinners, kayak races, hiking, two sundresses needed and botton down shirts, and the walk down the ailes with friend and family gathered together. Some are excited for ties, others are not. How long is the ceremony? Can I have two pieces of cake? Do we have to dance? Do we get to have our hair done? Do we have to be there?
   No one can control another person's actions or feelings. We can try till we am blue in the face. What is my perspective versus that of a child? I was a child, but my parents are still married, so I do not know what this day means to to them. I can see confusion, fear, excitement and joy on their beautiful faces all swirled together. All I can do is listen, be loving, be patient and have faith.